MOUTH dry, head pounding, stomach queasy ? and not pregnant! No need to elaborate on the gory details of a night spent drinking like there?s no tomorrow. For those who can?t control their intake, need to celebrate excessively or have a plane to catch, here?s a refresher course on the latest hangover cures.

SIM went online and around town to gather the wisest and wackiest solutions to combat a night of overzealous alcoholic consumption.

Most say prevention is the best cure. While the amount of alcohol needed to really immobilize a person varies according to size, gender and genetics, most studies quantify ?binge drinking? as consuming more than five drinks in a night ? or more than three drinks in one to two hours. So limit your drink to one an hour, or two if you weigh over 150 lbs.

Eat before you go out. Keeping a hangover at bay is a great reason to go on a guilt-free carbo load. So go ahead ? don?t pass up on the chips.

And when you?re there? Lighten up! Avoid drinks that contain large amounts of ?congeners? (chemicals that give wine its distinctive character) as these tend to cause more severe hangovers. Colorless cocktails like vodka and gin are kinder on the body than dark whiskey or even red wine.

Get fizzy. Drink a soft drink or water between each alcoholic tipple to lessen actual alcohol intake. But take note that fizzy drinks do help to speed up the amount of alcohol going into the bloodstream.

Water works wonders. Alcohol is very dehydrating (the main cause of hangover headache), so if you take water between vodkas, you?ll be less likely to wake up with a splitting morning after headache.

Hydration tablets actually work for some people. Others swear the best way to prevent a hangover is to simply down a pint of water before going to bed after drinks.

Or, before crashing out, take some orange juice, because vitamin C is known to speed up metabolism of the alcohol by the liver.

Try a sports drink before bedtime too ? it contains everything you need (sodium and minerals) to survive the next day intact.

Take in some toast along with the drinks. The lack of sugar is what?s responsible for that wobbly trembling feeling, so whack up your blood sugar level by eating ? well, almost anything! And, it will settle your stomach too.

Fry-up. Your digestive system is under a lot of strain, so bacon, sausages and the works may cause indigestion. But fat also contains lots of calories, so you will get a much-needed energy boost.

Also, eggs and meat are rich in the amino acid cysteine, which is thought to be good for clearing out toxins. Grilling or poaching an egg may be a healthier option. Remember though that fat only slows down intake; it does not negate it!

And after the deed?s done, get some fresh air. If it?s safe for you to walk home, then the activity and the cool breeze will help you sober up and make you feel better in the morning.

What about painkillers? To pop a pill or not? Best to avoid painkillers if you can. If you desperately need to take a pain reliever, however, take it in moderation. But keep in mind that aspirin and ibuprofen may irritate your stomach, and paracetamol gives your liver even more work to do. And since you?ve already spent the night giving your liver a good solid whacking, popping pills should never be your first ?go-to? option.

Then there?s that apocryphal cure: hair of the dog. There is scientific evidence to prove this works, but only in the short term! While your body is busy dealing with a new intake of booze, it suspends its torture until you?re done drinking again ? and then it?s back to hangover hell. So basically, by doing this, you?re just postponing the inevitable. So don?t even bother!

Fruit juice could do it. Freshly squeezed is best and works double time to replace lost vitamins. The fruit sugar boosts your energy levels and helps your body get rid of toxins. If it feels too acidic, water it down, add it to a smoothie with banana and yoghurt, or try a less acidic vegetable juice.

Get a dose of caffeine. Some people swear by a can of coke, a cup of tea or black coffee. But these may only make you feel better for a while. Since a hangover is a sign of dehydration, and caffeine also causes dehydration, eventually it will come back to hurt you. It?s a combination destined to make your head hurt.

Those who?ve tried it recommend haejangguk, or tripe soup, a spicy Korean dish made from cow bones and blood that?s supposed to be good for recovery. It could be the spice or the soup ingredients that do the work.

Load up on B?s. That?s vitamins/vitamin supplements B12, B6 or Berocca. This is definitely for the day after, rather than the night of the drinking, as taking it before bedtime may stress the liver which would have to process it along with the alcohol.

Just a spoonful of honey. Sounds like an old wives? tale, but some swear it sweetly works its wonders. Or, befriend a diabetic and get a stash of their Rosiglitazone meds. This boosts the glucose levels and is a great next day fix.

And if nothing by mouth works, then perhaps it?s best to just sleep it off. Your body is working extra hard to rectify the mess you?ve made of your internal organs. This will make you sluggish. If your banging headache?s not keeping you awake, go back to sleep so your poor neglected body doesn?t have as much work to do.

Here are 30 off-the-wall cures (from the Internet and email replies from friends who?ve actually tried them) ? in no particular order, not all of them tried and tested. So remember, this is no sweeping endorsement or recommendation, and nobody?s making approved therapeutic claims:

1) Ingest vegetable oil before drinking alcohol.

2) If you take milk thistle tablets before you go out for drinks then your hangover will be considerably reduced. Milk thistle, which is available in health food stores, is natural and boosts liver function so that it processes more alcohol while you are drinking.

3) A tablespoon of honey before bed will virtually eliminate any hangover.

4) A good cure for hangover consists of a banana, a carrot, a tomato, a shot of vodka, a bit of tabasco and some milk, followed by mouthwash to remove taste. (This sounds suspiciously like the ?hair of the dog? buried under milk and hot sauce.)

5) One cup of milk, one cup of tomato juice, a multivitamin and a lot of Powerade. This will help rehydrate and restore electrolyte balance. Feel good as new in half an hour!

6) Peach syrup from canned peaches works best. A doctor told me once to take it for nausea because it raises your blood sugar and what do you know, it works for a hangover too!

7) Vanilla milk shake and hot Mexican food ? honest!

8) A sausage roll and a strawberry milkshake always work for me!

9) A few ounces of dill pickle juice. Not entirely sure why it works, but it does.

10) I?ve personally found that bitters and soda work best for a hangover.

11) This sounds disgusting but mix and drink 1/4 pint of olive oil and a raw egg in a glass of milk. Trust me, this works every time.

12) Get half a pint of pure orange juice, half a pint of Coke and mix together in a pint glass. Give it a stir and presto! It will sort you out. It?s probably called ?Thames? because of its color.

13) A bowl of hot and spicy chili, because chili peppers help the body fight free radicals that come from booze.

14) Two hot tacos and a beer. Make sure the tacos are so HOT they make you cry.

15) A fried egg on brown bread, not too much ketchup, eaten whilst piping hot in bed, watching ?Friends? and drifting off to sleep.

16) Two slices of toast smothered in vegemite, and a big glass of orange juice.

17) I always have a cheese and onion sandwich. I don?t know why I just crave for cheese, but hey, presto! In the morning, wow, I feel great!

18) Lucozade Sport drink. Works fast and is 100 percent effective.

19) Rehydrate! The best way to rehydrate: Drink 1000 cc of saline and get four hours of sleep. Guaranteed to get rid of even the worst headache!

20) Try a Resolve the morning after. It?s like Alka Seltzer ? just add the contents of the sachet to water and down it as fast as you can. Always works for me.

21) Diarrhea medication. It contains vitamins and minerals and is designed to keep you hydrated better, so it?s all you need!

22) Chewable vitamin C. I take about four of them after a session, chase them down with a pint of water, and I?m all set the next morning.

23) Midol ? swear! You take it in the morning when you wake up and have a splitting headache or you ache all over. And yes, my guy friends have tried it too!

24) Pop an over the counter B-Complex vitamin pill the morning after drinks. The hangover should be at least 50-70 percent less severe in a couple of hours.

25) Over the counter Emetrol liquid is for the ?heavy duty? hangover when you can?t tear yourself away from the porcelain God and dry heaves. Drink lots of water with the Emetrol. I swear it works!

26) A brisk jog and a cold shower. (No hot baths, because that tends to make you feel sick.)

27) When you wake up, get in a hot bath or shower and then have a pint of freezing cold water afterwards. I swear it works because of the fast climate change in your body.

28) If you don?t have to work the next day, take a motion sickness pill or Soma. It will relax your stomach. Then stay in bed for the day.

29) Stay awake! This allows your liver to process more alcohol while it?s still functioning at a good capacity, so you get better sleep later. Also, drinking sugar water or water with honey is always helpful.

30) Have sex the next morning. It burns calories, makes you sweat out the alcohol, and it feels great!