THESE days, that?s a question we all need to ask when we meet men. Is he or isn?t he? Does he like me or my shoes? Is there anything else we have in common aside from liking that cute guy by the bar?

So how can you tell? A few hints:

1. It?s all about the shoes.

You?re wearing your favorite shoes of the season. He looks down and says ?Hey, love your red patent leather platform pumps. They?re so Jimmy Choo.? How many guys do you know who can actually say all that in one sentence?

2. Flawless?

Check out his medicine cabinet or even his toiletry kit. If you find that he goes beyond the usual soap and toothbrush and stocks facial soap, eye cream, lip gloss (not just lip balm) moisturizer, sun block, day cream, night cream, the whole works, you really have to take a second look. With all that ammunition, he?s bound to be prettier than you as well.

3. He doth protest too much?

Is he going a bit overboard on the gay-bashing? Men who are in the closet tend to draw attention away from themselves by playing the homophobe. They think that by sounding all macho, people are less likely to think they?re actually gay. Or perhaps he?s still in that denial stage.

4. Shopaholic anyone?

When it?s time to hit the malls for a new wardrobe, he?s your most eager, supportive and patient companion. He offers more than just a polite smile when you ask for his opinion, but instead scours the shelves for the right look for you. He suddenly becomes your own personal shopper. Admit it, sister, something is just plain wrong with this picture?

5. A man?s best friend, especially the cute ones.

Sit back and observe the way he behaves with other guys. When he gives the customary manly hug, does it last just a tad too long? Are his friends always around, even during your romantic dates? Is there something about how they interact that makes you feel like it?s you who?s intruding into a private moment? Well, actually you might be.

6. Too much in common.

Wow, you think, you?ve finally found THE ONE. Who seems to understand you on every level. Who gives you sound advice not just on career matters, but even on fashion. Who shares the same taste in food, wine, movies, favorite actors, moisturizer and even candle scents. The perfect boyfriend and best girlfriend rolled into one. Otherwise known to himself as the woman trapped in a man?s body.

7. Meet Bette and Oprah and Barbara

Does his CD collection include ?I Will Survive?? Or Bette Midler?s and Barbara Streisand?s greatest hits? Is Oprah a frequent guest in his living room? Is Papa Piolo still available? He?d know. Is that a ton of collagen on Gretchen B?s lips? He?d know. Does his favorite movies include ?300? and ?Spartacus?? Uh-oh.

Yup, if he checks out on all seven or most of these factors, say goodbye to your soul mate and hell-ow! to your soul sister. ?