STRAIGHT forward is how we will tell our story, my partner and I agreed, pun intended, and yes, ironically.

Oddly, it was I who initially balked at the idea of declaring my status in public ? in print, in a magazine released on a Sunday, accessible to children in the homes of wholesome families. A little voice in my head cautioned me to be careful. After all, I have nothing to gain from this confession because we are not celebrities. But then again, I also have nothing to lose, and nothing more to dread as well.

If anything, we decided, perhaps this piece could help educate people not just to be tolerant, but to openly accept that in this day and age, gay relationships can actually coexist and thrive in a heterosexual parallel universe.

I?ve always wondered why people seem to make such a big deal out of gay relationships, especially those that last fairly long. Except for the fact that the couple in the relationship are gay, there is nothing else unique about it that needs to be taken too seriously. Oftentimes, it?s nothing but pure exotica, arising from the romantic perception perpetuated in the media by such shows as the American TV sitcom ?Will and Grace? and Hollywood films like ?My Best Friend?s Wedding.?

Our relationship doesn?t resemble any of those, and I may have to rewrite the script whenever. Coming from two distinct and different cultures and a wide age gap didn?t pose a challenge to us. We are color blind, and to us, age is just a number. The most important thing is that we both contribute to each other?s development as human beings.

We?ve never felt pressured to follow the heterosexual lifestyle model of getting married, building a house and raising children. What for?isn?t the life of a gay person complex and challenging enough? Replicating a husband and wife scenario with children playing in the yard is too much of a daunting task. Thank you, not our cup of tea!

People sometimes ask, why don?t we adopt? What for?it?s a great responsibility bringing up children into this world. Remember we are biologically male, and therefore we do not possess the maternal instincts to raise and nurture children?we don?t even want to own pets!

That is always the problem here in the Philippines. I know a lot of gay people will disagree, but there are still gay ?stereotypes? that abound. Most gay people would like to have straight men as partners and they don?t mind if their male partners have girlfriends or get married as long as they desist from having a relationship with other gay men. Yet they cringe at the thought of a gay person carrying on a relationship with another gay person.

In my opinion, a gay person will never get any emotional gratification from a straight man?just sexual gratification, perhaps. I know, this is a sweeping statement, but this kind of a relationship usually involves money or is plain sexual. I?ve always told friends not to confuse lust for love and sexual for emotional gratification.

A long-term gay relationship shouldn?t be based on sex alone. It should be about helping and nurturing each other. Each party should have something to contribute in the relationship. It is not about wealth or social standing, but of course, each person in the relationship should be financially comfortable, because most break-ups, even in heterosexual marriages, are not caused by money, but misunderstandings in the handling of money.

It is also healthy that both partners have a job or generally have a life separate from their domestic lives. With this kind of companionship, each partner can bring in friends and colleagues from their respective fields that will enrich their lives.

Try to avoid role-playing in the relationship. There is no such issue as ?Who?s the man, and who?s the woman?? Remember you can?t replicate the heterosexual model here because both of you are men. One may have the aptitude for repairing cars while the other has a knack for decorating. Of course, having a trusted household staff would help in running the household.

In our almost 18-year partnership, we have learned that we must be friends first and foremost, and lovers second. We have identified over the years what is important to us and what we value the most. We no longer go out to clubs and party all night long. We just stay home, make it comfortable and sometimes entertain friends.

What is amazing about this relationship is that we accept each other for what we are. ?Tolerance? is not the word that I?m searching for, because it means to endure and to put up with. Acceptance is more like it ? the recognition and acknowledgment that we are two distinct being ? in a relationship that is unique and special not because it is ?same sex,? but because it is that to my partner and myself. ?