MANILA, Philippines ? Hi Wiley!

I can?t believe you are having your first retreat already! I can still remember when you were the one writing me palanca letters. But now that you are 13, I am the one writing to you.

I haven?t been much of a presence in your life lately due to pressure of my studies, so I want to take this opportunity to tell you a number of things. First, of course, is that I miss you very much. I miss hanging out with you, and watching movies together and talking about the silliest and most ordinary things. I miss playing different sports with you.

Of course, you know that we have a nine-year age gap between us. For nine years, I was entertaining myself. In our old home, there weren?t many girls my age, so I kept to myself and played with my dolls and other toys.

I am happy for you because you have lots of friends in the village. I never thought you were the type to have so many friends. I thought you would lock yourself in your room, acting anti-social and just playing with your PSP or computer games. But look at you now?you are so batang kalye.

Next, I want to tell you that I?m very thankful to have a brother like you. Did Mom ever tell you how much of a spoiled brat I was? I was such a bad daughter before. I would have tantrums until I got what I wanted. (Don?t copy me!) And I kept doing it until you came into our lives. At the age of 9, I suddenly stopped being the spoiled brat, and became the older sister instead. I was never jealous of you. I was happy that finally I had a brother to take care of.

When I was growing up, my best friend would tell me how much she hated her sister. She told me how mean her sister was to her, how she felt so bad because they would always fight. When I heard her tell me such things, I promised myself that I would never be like that. I didn?t want you to tell your friends ?I hate my Ate, she?s so annoying.? So I vowed that I would be the nicest, most loving and caring sister I could be. And I hope I?m doing a good job.

Sometimes, I do get annoyed with you. It?s just natural for siblings to argue. Actually we rarely fight. It?s just that sometimes you catch me in a bad mood, or you do something that I really don?t like.

For those times, I would like to say sorry. Sorry if ever I did anything that upset you or really pissed you off. Like when we go to the mall and I look inside every single shop. I?m really just like that. I love shopping. I don?t do that to make you angry. It just happens.

Next, I want you to know that you are loved. Mama, Papa, and I love you very much. You are our baby. You are the youngest in our family, and we find joy in the smallest things that you say or accomplish. We care for you a lot, and we want all the best for you.

Now you are 13. You are a teenager already, and it?s human nature to be a little bit rebellious at that age because you are on your way to becoming an adult. But always remember that whenever you act up, we get hurt. Especially when you say certain things to Mama and Papa. We try to understand as much as we can because we have been there. I know the times are different, but we are all human.

Since you know that I love you, I also want you to know that you can talk to me about anything and everything. I am your big sister, and you can rely on me and trust me. After Mama and Papa, I?m the one who takes care of you and wishes you the best. Of course, it is a different responsibility from being a mom, but I think it is cool that you have an older sibling you can talk to. Remember that there?s only you and me. We don?t have any other sibling, so we should rely on each other. Even when we get older and we have our own families, I want us to remain close.

Now comes the part about school. I know that school is getting harder and harder. The lessons are more difficult and seem unending, but you will learn a lot from them. Perhaps not now, maybe in the future, but for sure these lessons will prove useful. I want you to study hard. When Mama and Papa would tell me the same thing before, I always thought it was standard adult line. But I have come to realize that it is really important to do well in your studies. Getting a good education allows you to go places you want to go, and have a wonderful life when you are older.

I hope you enjoy your retreat. Take the time to reflect and think about the person you used, the person you are now and the person you would like to become.

I pray that you will establish a good relationship with God. Praying to Him and and relying on Him really help. There are a lot of things I prayed for which came true. As for those things that didn?t go my way, I understood through His guidance.

You are only 13, and there are still so many things in life that you will learn. I cannot wait to share my other experiences with you. I hope you can share some or most of your experiences with me as well. I like it when you tell me things, even the most trivial things.

Be safe, and remember how much we love you. A lot of people out there love you also, like your friends and other relatives. You are special to us.

Ate is always here for you. Take care and remember to always love others. Be respectful to your elders, and be the best in everything you do.

Trina F. Lorenzana, 22, is a first year medical student at DLSHI in Dasmariñas, Cavite.