WHEN you?re 35, single, straight, born with highly coveted genes and are more successful than most people your age, you can?t help but suspect that Charles Dickens must have had you in mind when he wrote the classic lines, ?It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.?

Being 35 is the age that most modern-day single women secretly despise, regardless of self-made achievement, recognition, stability and financial accessibility to the latest designer items and anti-ageing regimens. It?s about being stuck in the middle of not knowing whether you?re too young or too old to do things. It?s when every good man just about your age is already taken or committed with dependents, and what remains out in the wild are boys either too young (they?d end up being your dependent) or men too old (you?d end up being their caregiver). Either that or they?re gay. It?s about accepting the fact that only five short years separate you from being 40, knowing that at that age you have a better chance of being blown up by a terrorist than being married or finding true love.

And then there is the so-called label. When you are classified as an older, highly accomplished, secure and confident woman, and one day you find yourself romantically linked or asexually rumored (meaning there?s nothing remotely interesting going on) to a dude at least ten years your junior, be prepared to Google the term "cougar."

The Urban Dictionary, for example, classifies a cougar as generally 35 and above, despite pop culture depictions of this feline huntress? average age as between 45 to 55.

Bad news for me and all the thirty-somethings of the world!

On the other hand, the younger man is not spared. When associated with an older woman, even if she is equally hot, pretty and doesn?t look her age, the guy is automatically branded a boytoy, someone who?s in it for the money and the favors that the powerful female can bestow. He?s described as a "couguy."

Blame it on the TV series ?Sex and the City?s? wildcat Samantha Jones, who started the cougar trend on television when, at 45, she has an affair with a twenty-something six-packed stud named Smith Jerrod. Using her profession as a publicist, the legendary Samantha transforms the relatively unknown Smith into one of the world?s most desirable men overnight. (Samatha?s greatest public display of affection ? giving him a billboard on Times Square ? also betrays her undeniable worship of Smith?s body).

Then we have the queen of all cats, Demi Moore, whose marriage to Ashton Kutcher (15 years her junior) is currently one of the most successful Hollywood real-life couplings there is.

Because there was so much cougar hype in first world countries devoid of old-fashioned conformists, local culture hijacked this explosive phenomenon by cracking Madame Auring jokes on every female celebrity known to carouse with younger men (I shall not mention their famous names since most of them are my personal friends). And the labeling became worse, if not downright abusive and prejudiced, given the so-called ?conventional? character of our society.

And so, if you?re a 35-year-old single woman confident and intelligent enough to debate with any of this year?s Presidential candidates, you can?t help but ask: in a country filled with married men cavorting with younger mistresses, why is there such a stigma on older women dating, or even being remotely linked to, younger men? What?s age got to do with it?

The answer, I believe, lies not within the norms of this hypocritical and conservative society, but rather, in the basic flaw of this nation more popularly known for its inherent crab mentality, that sickening attitude displayed by most people that says, ?If I can?t have it, then neither can you.?

Imagine this scenario: A woman in her prime who possesses everything that others can only dream of ? including having a ridiculously good-looking and hot young man right next to her. Whether the relationship that exists between them is professionally platonic or deliciously intimate, the usual reaction among onlookers is to judge that connection maliciously because it is the nature of crabs to pull down other crabs about to rise above the pack.

This behavior becomes even more pronounced between women because of stiff competition: An older woman dating a younger man faces raw opposition from jealous girls his age and envious women her age (including his mother who feels she?s about to lose her baby to a cradle-snatcher).

On the other hand, older men dating younger women need not face social antagonism because some research has suggested that older men having children with younger women is a key to the survival of the human species and is therefore excused from further harassment.

Alright, granted that older women are strong and independent-minded enough to withstand the opinions of the outside world. But what about the younger guy? Is he mature enough to defend the relationship despite the age gap and, often enough, the class divide? Is he strong enough to stand by his woman ? for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, ?til rumors break them apart?

That?s when the problem begins.

My late father, who was 12 years older than my mother, always reminded me: ?Never fall in love with a man your age. Men mature late; you will outgrow them. And when you get frustrated, you will end up aging faster even if both of you are the same age. Choose an older guy who will take care of you.?

When I was 19, I dated a man who was one year older than me. Unfortunately, he didn?t pass the standards of my father, who criticized him as ?being too poor with no inheritance. And his family?s car is not even brand new.?

When I was 21, I met and dated a very prominent international businessman 17 years older than me. Again, he didn?t pass my father?s criteria: ?He is rich but is too old for you and God knows what he has been through.? Shortly before he passed away in 2001, I started seeing a rich spoiled guy my age, to which my father snorted, ?He is dumb. You are too smart for him.? He died without anyone passing his rigid standards.

Thank God my father is no longer around to read this article. The lawyer in him would automatically deduce that despite numerous warnings, his favorite daughter has tripped and disgraced herself by publicly admitting in a written testimonial that she is, or has recently been, involved with a much younger man. His deeply traditional and old school mind would not be able to grasp the logic of cougars even if he were to have a clinical session on ?Freudian issues? with Oprah?s Dr. Phil.

Daddy would simply go mental.

However, what my father would have recognized and respected (and would have agreed with) is my stance on defending the rights of every person to happiness, regardless of sex, age and status. I have older women friends who have suffered massive discrimination and ridicule by a most judgmental and hostile public ? all because they fell in love with a younger man. Most of them tell me they are unaffected, until the relationship came to a screeching halt because the younger one did not possess a backbone strong enough to fight for what is right.

That basic human right ? one?s right to his or her own version of happiness ? must be respected. I believe that if a relationship does not prejudice or cause harm to others, affect the economy or contribute to global warming, then no one has the right to judge or criticize the two people who bond together by mutual consent. As long as both partners are of legal age and are agreeable to the terms and conditions of their coming together, then their relationship should be respected, left alone and viewed as an agreement of sorts where trust and loyalty thrive above and beyond all other things.

We go after happiness in one of two ways. We steal it. Or we earn it. Stolen happiness is fleeting; we never get to keep it. The earned kind we can never lose. When one is after another?s happiness, they tend to steal gratification, not earn it. So the next time you see, hear or read about an older woman-younger man relationship, whether true or not, ask yourself this: do I have the right to cast the first stone? ?

Make-up by Ria Gamboa for Mac Cosmetics

Hair by Emphasis Salon

Styling by Alyanna Martinez