IT?S that time of year again, and you can tell right away from the clusters of families in the mall or in restaurants, beaming at the child with a lei or corsage at the center of it all. Or even from the strains of a Graduation March wafting through the city air.

The sights and sounds, exhilarating to others, deepen my frustration and push me into panic mode. They bring me face to face with the reality that it?s been a year since I?d been through that myself ? I had finished college ? and in a year, nothing has changed. I?m still unemployed.

I finished a degree in Mass Communications at a state university in Manila last year. It wasn?t an easy trek all the way, but I finished the race and it felt good. And I was enough of a realist to know, or at least I thought so then, that like the Miley Cyrus song says, ?There?s always gonna be another mountain, I?m always gonna wanna make it move; always gonna be an uphill battle, sometimes, I?m gonna have to lose.?

Except that I never thought this would take long ? landing a job, that is. Could it be that I was naïve enough to believe that with a degree from a topnotch university in Manila, employers would be running after me, instead of the other way around?

I was wrong. And it was probably that misconception which cost me a lot. I dallied at the starting line and got into the race late.

What happened was, I thought of rewarding myself with a month-long hiatus after college. And in truth, that one-month self-imposed break was really well-taken. I loaded up on undisturbed sleep, good food, good books, and movie bonding with friends.

But now it seems I had to pay for that luxury in precious time lost. And that became increasingly obvious as I and some close college friends, who also opted for a one-month breather, began our job-hunting journey.

I had always pictured myself as an office person and believed I excel in communications, so I sent out resumés to different public relations and advertising firms. I got through to the interview stage, but that was the end of it. They said they would contact me, but that?s what they all say.

Then I tried the recruitment agencies. This was an intricate route that took me through many winding paths, but none led to a job, or at least none to a job that I had initially applied for. A lot of them were only too eager to bundle us applicants ? no matter what position we had submitted resumés for ? off to call-center companies.

Actually, there were lots of offers coming from BPO firms, but I always turned them down, thinking to myself that it?s not my priority for now and because I wanted to first establish myself in the world of corporate communications and perhaps in mass media. Not that I have anything against call centers, but I feel that taking phone calls and getting lambasted is really not for me.

One other agency referred me to a leading bank, and I saw a glimmer of hope when I discovered the HR personnel who interviewed me was also a graduate of my school. That helped, and she opened another door to employment by referring me to one of the bank?s branches in Ortigas. However, the officer-in-charge at the branch didn?t think my course was relevant to the position, even though the job offer was as support staff, and sent me off with a rather curt, ?Naliligaw ka ata? [You?re in the wrong place].

I went through four exams and two interviews for various positions at a leading broadcasting corporation, but could go no further after the proctor no longer replied to my text messages requesting for updates. To date, I have resumés on file with three bookstores, four publishing firms, a graduate school, a foreign ESL tutorial company and other countless establishments and corporations.

In between inquiring and submitting my resumé for job opportunities and receiving e-mail and SMS for test and interview schedules, most of which are anticipated but never received, I divide my time doing household chores, surfing the Net (to check e-mail and other job prospects), hanging out at my closest friends? places and reading, my only relevant leisure and solitary pursuit.

Through these months, worry has grown into anxiety ? and into frustration, depression and guilt. I?m supposed to be the other breadwinner of the family because I?m the only son who has finished college and yet here I am still relying on my mom to provide my needs instead of being the one to take care of her.

Aside from the month-long delay at the head-start, I don?t know where the problem is. Is it because I graduated from a local state university and I can?t compete with graduates of other more prestigious universities, or is it because I haven?t quite made an impression in a carefully crafted four-page resumé? Is it because I?m soft-spoken so the interviewer thinks I?m not aggressive enough for the job? Or is the competition really tough because the number of job openings just isn?t enough compared to the number of applicants?

I used to believe there?s nothing wrong with choosing to stay on the path you began and want to tread on ? even if it?s off the beaten path. But now I?ve started to doubt whether taking Mass Communications for a career I envisioned for myself was really such a big thing. I?ve started to wonder whether I would never have experienced this if I had just taken up Psychology. Did I gamble away my future by insisting on a course I really wanted, but which now does not open any employment doors for me?

It?s a risk I took ? and at least until now, I?m proud of it.
But the Graduation March is playing once again. And I can?t help hearing it, keeping up with the beat that oddly sounds like the hundreds of thousands of footsteps that may soon be catching up with me in my trek for a job. ?