IT?S always been a foregone conclusion that searching for ?Mr. Right? gets you messing around with a whole slew of ?Mr. Right ?For Now.?

Well, this can be loads of fun until you find yourself plowing the field rather than playing it as you rehash your life story with the limited eligibles in the market.

So when I decided that I?d finally found my ?Mr. Right,? both my married and single friends wanted to know exactly what the telling difference was between this guy and the others.

In a nutshell, it was the ideal combination of timing, chance, purposefulness, belief in love and chemistry.

Timing played a key role. I had apparently already met my ?Mr. Right? when I was in college, and had even gotten into a minor altercation with him. I barely remember the argument and have absolutely no memory of him. He, on the other hand, remembers the incident verbatim and based his seeking me out 20 years later on this memory.

Enter purposefulness. ?Mr. Right? has to be absolutely certain that you are the one for him ? because if you need to convince a guy of your worthiness ? well, my advice is to just walk away.

A favorite saying, ?Faint heart never won fair maiden,? was central in my noticing ?Mr. Right? the second time around. I found it very brave ? even verging on foolhardy ? of him to confess to having a serious crush on me early on in the relationship. I also found his assumption that he would never have a chance with me but would go down in flames trying, kinda sweet. This was the beginning of my meltdown.

I read somewhere that you know ?he?s the one? when you throw away your ?list? and make up a whole new one based entirely on ?the one.? So if ?Mr. Right? does not turn out to be your girlhood dream of tall, dark and handsome but turns out to be your short, bald and funny neighbor, embrace this new dream boat and believe that true love often comes in surprising packages.

Finding ?Mr. Right? will be like falling off the deep end. It?s a freefall into uncharted territory. And even the most cynical may find themselves seeing life through those famous rose colored glasses. You will shelve logic when involving ?Mr. Right,? and horrify yourself by wanting to say silly girlish stuff like, ?I love him because he makes my hair curl.?

Also expect things to move at breakneck speed, like when he says he thinks he?s in love with you barely into the third hour of your first date. Stranger still, you will actually find this confession perfectly natural.

And if you?re a control freak and had previous plans of handling the situation, believe me, it will be a wasted effort. It?s a rollercoaster, a runaway train and a magic carpet ride all rolled into one. It?s every romantic cliché you?ve ever read and scoffed at ? and it?s the best ?scary some kind of wonderful feeling? in the world.

And I urge you, if you find yourself in a situation anywhere close, go for it ? because finding your ?Mr. Right? is a truly rare opportunity.

At the end of day, some people may narrow it down to chemistry ?either there?s a spark there, or there is none. Well, for those of you who think they?ve found that spark and want to compare ?Mr. Right? notes, here?s my shortlist of telltale signs:

1) You find yourself agreeing to go out on a third date despite the fact that you suspect he could be any or all of the following: a potential stalker, a closet gay or a serial killer. (Just keep your mobile handy at all times just in case.)

2) You can?t eat when he is around despite the fact that you are starving and have the munchies. Note that this eating disorder reverses itself after the first six months of dating, because once you cross the half-year mark, you will find that you can?t stop eating. (At this stage in the relationship, I recommend you both begin a workout regimen.)

3) You feel lightheaded when you?re around him, and you?ve not had a drop of alcohol.

4) You spend way too much time crafting your text messages.

5) He is geographically ineligible but that doesn?t stop you one bit. Now would be the time to join that frequent flyer program ? you will need it.

6) You spend hours on the phone. He calls using a regular landline because the line is clearer than magic jack/vonnage/skype, and racks up a phone bill that he never tells you about.

7) You actually consider downsizing your wardrobe to allow him more closet space.

8) He says ?you are the one? after your first date? and means it.

9) He doesn?t lie to you ever.

10) He is no fighter, but when push comes to shove you know he will slay baby dragons for you.

11) You instinctively trust each other about everything.

12) He is not afraid to let you win a foot race.

13) You don?t mind that he is invading your personal space (e.g. sharing your popcorn or nibbling on your food, sitting in your favorite chair, etc.)

14) The most mundane chores e.g. going to the grocery, getting the car washed, paying bills, become almost fun ? just because you?re together.

15) You control the remote and yet you choose shows you know he will like.

16) His friends say he is ?whipped,? and he considers it a compliment.

17) You?d rather bite off your tongue than back-seat drive.

18) You wouldn?t dream of teaching him how to improve his golf swing. He never complains about how you always make him wait, even to your friends.

19) He writes you love letters in ink and snail-mails them.

20) He is courteous even when you fight.

21) He listens to you vent and always chooses your side even if you are clearly at fault.

22) He agrees to your dream destination wedding plans (no problemo), even if he was thinking more along the lines of an elopement in Vegas -- just because he knows it will make you happy.

Am I sure he is ?Mr. Right ? Forever?? In case he does read this, I?m going to say, ?Most probably.?

It?s a vague answer but one my grandmother would have approved of. She was so happily married to my grandfather that when she was widowed at a young age, she chose never to remarry. She not only knew how to find Mr. Right but how to keep him. ?Always on their toes, my dear,? was her sage advice. ?