KIDS always look up to their fathers, mostly because of the height difference ? unless the dad is a midget, then they can see eye to eye.
But as we get older and become parents ourselves, we come to realize that our fathers didn't really know much. They just made up most of the stuff they told us along the way. Sure, they knew that vegetables are good for you and that you should get at least eight hours of sleep, but they were mostly clueless when it came to everything else. That's probably why I have this unexplained nervousness around Indian men on scooters.

Although my parents divorced when I was still young, I still remember some of the fabrications my father told us kids. To his credit, he did what he could, given the knowledge and experience he had at the time. So here are the top 12 lies he told us:

1. Don't take no for an answer.
While this may work for motivating yourself to achieve impossible goals in life, "no" for the most part means "no," especially when it?s a woman telling you that. Ignore that "No!" and you could be setting yourself up for a sexual harassment suit. Or worse.

2. Drugs will kill you.
There is a fine print to this that my dad didn't tell me about ? moderation. Yes, definitely some drugs can kill you, like rat poison, shabu, and whatever Michael Jackson and Heath Ledger took in combination. Hey, by no means am I advocating illegal drug use. I'm just pointing out that I know some people who take recreational drugs in moderation and they seem to be fine. When it comes to drugs, just like Facebook, don't let it take over your life.

3. Finish school, get a good job, and you'll be okay.
This is partly true ? but also misleading. What my father forgot to consider are layoffs, inflation, and having a wife and kids. Unless you work for the government, no job is really secure. And school doesn't teach you about sucking up to the boss to get ahead in your career. Dad also forgot to calculate how expensive a wife (who loves shopping) and kids are. For me, running your own business and selling your soul to the devil are better ways to have security.

4. Always tell the truth.
Once you're married, you'll understand how flawed this statement is.

5. Practice safe sex: always wear a condom.
Condoms can only protect you from certain diseases. But it can't save you from crabs, mononucleosis, and crazy women stalkers. The safest bet is still abstinence.

6. Women are only after your money.
Are you kidding me? They won't stop even after they've spent every centavo you have in the bank. They'll go after your inheritance and run up your credit card beyond the maximum. They'll use your body, too, and their charms, to have you driving them to the mall, carrying their bags, and putting yourself in danger when there's a strange noise in the middle of the night.

7. If you don't finish your rice, you'll spend seven years in purgatory for every grain left on your plate.
The truth is, you'll spend 15 years for every grain.

8. If you don't follow what your yaya says, the Indian man with a long beard will come and get you.
The Indian man with the beard was never really there to get me. He was there to collect payment for the appliances.

9. Don't hit women.
Before Gabriela gets mad at me, let me qualify why this is a lie. While I absolutely agree that you should never hit women, there are exceptions, namely, if that woman has a bolo and is about to hack you into pieces for evicting her out of your apartment for not paying rent.

10. This hurts me more than it hurts you.
When my dad hit me with the belt, it really hurt me more than it hurt him.

11. Don't play with toy guns because it will make you violent.
My father caught me once playing with a toy gun and he beat me up. I think you get the point.

12. Marry a virgin so she'll be faithful to you.
I don't have any physical evidence to refute this lie, but I have a gut feeling it isn?t true.

Well, now that I am a father myself, I have to come up with my own lies to keep my daughters safe. It's for their own good. At least, that's how fathers justify it. ?