BEING in a wheelchair all day and curled up in fetal position at night as she endures the spasms of pain has taken action, but not hope, out of Lolita Termulo?s life.

Ravaged by stage 4 breast cancer, her body has lost weight, strength and movement, but the excruciating physical and emotional torment has not robbed her of the adventurous spirit she always had.

?I do miss going to the malls and walking through Divisoria,? she says wistfully, as she sits in her wheelchair. ?But if I had 10 more years, I would like to try skydiving.?

It?s easy to see where this can-still-do and will-do attitude is coming from. From her wheelchair, Termulo continues to run an electronic loading business and monitors orders and deliveries of gas and water supplies through her cell phone.

The 40-year-old Termulo has been battling cancer for the past 6 years. Though the symptoms were apparent in 2004, the breast cancer was diagnosed only in February 2006 since she had neglected seeing a doctor despite the discovery of a lump in her right breast.

?I never believed I would get breast cancer. A friend of mine kept nagging me to see a doctor but I refused, saying that I had four kids and all were breastfed,? she says, explaining that she believed breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer.

Convincing herself that the pain in her breast was caused by jarring movements during workouts at the gym and riding on motorcycles over rough roads, Termulo started wearing brassieres that offered more support, stopped going to the gym, and lessened her work load. At the time, she was leading an active life, doing her share to support the family. She would cook and sell lugaw (rice porridge) each morning, then offer home-service as a beautician.

The pain persisted, however, and as her arm went numb and her grip weakened, she discovered the lump in her right breast.

?But it was almost Christmas and we needed the money so I postponed seeing a specialist,? she recalls.

So it wasn?t until February 2006 that Termulo, then 36, underwent a mammogram, which revealed the presence of malignant carcinoma in her right breast.

?I cried all the way home,? she says. And when she underwent a biopsy the next day, she was told the cancer was stage 3A.

She went under the knife a month after to have the breast removed, but two months after the surgery, the cut had not healed.

?One week after, the wounds of some of the women who had their operation the same week that I did had already healed,? she recalls. ?Mine had not. It was infected and I was told I needed another surgery to remove the abscess,? she adds.

Not wanting to go under the knife again, Termulo decided to extract the abscess herself. Using her beautician?s kit as crude surgery instruments, she locked herself in a room, disinfected her equipment, and slowly cut out the abscess, which by then had already hardened like cartilage.

Then depression took over. ?I was depressed for one and a half months. Nagbilin na ako sa mga anak ko [I gave my children my last wishes]. I also started teaching them to be independent,? Termulo says. ?I had a fetish for bras, even if I only had one breast left. And I actually thought my husband would leave me after the surgery.?

?It?s difficult to describe how I felt when I found out my wife has cancer,? her husband, Rey Santillan says in turn. ?But I didn?t leave. Paano na siya kapag iniwan ko siya eh may sakit na nga siya [How would she cope, being so sick]? ?

There were extreme adjustments that the family had to make in order to cope with the expenses: P1,000 a day for medicines, and another P1,000 to P8,000 for each chemotherapy session every 21 days. Food on the table became simpler and the three younger children, ages 13, 10 and 9, had to transfer to public schools. Schooling for her eldest, a 19-year-old, is shouldered by a relative abroad.

Termulo would commute to and from chemotherapy sessions at the Breast Care Center of the East Avenue Medical Center (EAMC) in Quezon City, a trip that consisted of four rides and took about three hours.

But it was also a time for spiritual renewal. She found solace in prayer, and strength from other breast cancer patients who could still laugh through the pain. ?I was inspired by the outlook of the other patients. Napapasayaw nila ako [They could make me dance],? she explains.

After three sessions of chemotherapy, the doctors decided to shift her to cobalt treatment. But by October 2008, the cancer had spread to her liver and lower spine. With the cancer in her bones, the pain became unbearable, and by September 2009, she could no longer walk.

?It was super painful. I couldn?t even move because each movement proved too painful,? she reveals, adding that even the slightest pressure from a finger on her skin hurt. By 2010, the cancer had affected her entire spine and pelvis, confining her to a wheelchair.

Today, the frail-looking Termulo, weighing only 40 kilos from her old robust self of 85 kilos, keeps the pain at bay with morphine taken every hour. Yet she is more grateful now for each breath that she takes, and each moment she gets to spend with her family.

The disease, if anything, has brought the family closer together and taught the kids to be more involved in the family. ?My kids massage me. And when I need medicine, my eldest son leaves home at 4 a.m. to go to PCSO (Philippine Charity and Sweepstakes Office),? she says. The PCSO has a program that provides cancer patients with medicine needed for their treatment.

On days that the pain gets too intense, Termulo receives no visitors at home. ?It?s harder for me when I see friends having a difficult time dealing with my illness. Some of my friends can?t even look at me. Nararamdaman ko yon [I can sense that],? she explains.

Business-minded since she was 6 years old and selling coffee in the fish section of Meycauayan?s wet market, Termulo continues to help support her family through small business ventures that she can manage from her wheelchair, while her husband has taken over the sari-sari store she put up.

According to the Philippine Foundation for Breast Care, Inc., a breast cancer support group housed at the EAMC, breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer deaths, overtaking lung cancer as the most common cancer in the Philippines. It is also the most common form of cancer among Filipino women, accounting for 28 percent of the total cancer cases. In Asia, the Philippines has the most reported cases of breast cancer.

?Basta okay na mga anak ko, pwede na. Maiwan ko lang sila na may ikinabubuhay. Ayaw ko silang iwan na wala silang alam [For as long as my children are okay and have a way to support themselves, I can die],? Termulo says.

?But if God gives me 10 more years to live, I would like to do the things I never got the chance to do before. I would go sky diving or bungee jumping. If I could, I would once again dance with the other breast cancer patients and do cartwheels.? Women?s Feature Service