MANILA, Philippines—You’re sick of having to share space with your little sister or brother. You don't like people constantly breathing down your neck, asking where you're going, what are you up to, or what's that thing you're wearing.
Your mother and/or father won't get off your case; they're always picking on you. Whatever your reason, you just want to get out of your parents' house. (Note: If you're a teenager with raging hormones this piece is not for you. Listen to your parents about studying hard and being a good student. This is for adults only.)
You think it's easy. You think it's as simple as packing your stuff and walking out the door. Let me tell you now, it's not.
If you come from the so-called "traditional" Filipino family, you might encounter some resistance from the folks. They sometimes confuse the word "independent" with "I want to turn my bedroom into the happiest place on earth."
Stand your ground and explain why you want to live on your own. A white lie would help, like saying you'd be nearer to your office.
Saying something like, "I want my boyfriend to come over every night without you guys sneaking on us" will not help your case, even if that is the truth.
First things first. Can you afford it? Living with your parents somehow shields you from the stark realities. Even if you share in the household expenses, more likely than not you don't know where it really goes.
Living on your own means rent/mortgage, electricity and water bills, gas, parking space and monthly dues; and yes, you must pay them yourself.
If you're a rich kid who wants to go "independent" by living in a condo unit owned by your parents, you don't count.
Expenses
List down possible expenses (including basic appliances, unless you want to live in the Stone Age) against your monthly income and that should give you an idea if you're ready. Keep in mind that landlords don't usually go for promissory notes and "I promise to pay next month" kind of lines. You will just have to cough it up month after month after month.
Where would you go? Do you have a place in mind?
If you're the loner type, the kind of person who needs his personal space, you're better off living alone.
However, if you can tolerate another person's presence, you can get a roommate to share the expenses.
Roommates are another matter.
If ever you decide to share living quarters with other people, be prepared to live with their quirks and habits. This can be a little less of a culture shock if you choose your roommates well.
Preferably, you should have something in common, and I don't mean your taste in men (which might be a problem eventually).
If you're a smoker and they're not, expect hell to break loose sooner or later.
If your roommate's a talker and you prefer to read, one day you might find yourself stuffing a book in his mouth.
Go for the people you know quite well, who are open-minded so that if there are domestic things you need to talk over, they will be levelheaded and reasonable.
If the above things are settled, you can begin your new life. But unfortunately it doesn't stop there. There will be times when you will accidentally spend your rent money, or splurge on clothes forgetting you don't have food anymore. Times like these test your self-control, pride and dignity.
Don't go to your parents for help at the first sign of trouble. Remember, you left their safety net. While parents are parents and will be more than happy to help you out, it may happen that the next time you do something grown-up they won't take you seriously.
You don't move out, then come home every weekend with your dirty laundry for the maid to wash. That's not being independent.
Even if sometimes I go home to my mother's house when I run out of food, I do that very rarely, and on the pretense that I'm just visiting.
There is also the issue of domestic skills. The maid is on your mother's payroll, not yours.
Before moving out, try to familiarize yourself with the following things: broom, rugs, dustpan, can opener, gas stove (assuming you know how to cook), and how to change a lightbulb.
I'm a domestic dork, so I always did take-outs at first. Now I'm lucky I can hire a maid who does everything I cannot/will not do.
But in the first few years I was on my own. I had a frequent customer card at the nearest laundry shop, the carinderia owner knows me, and I somehow managed to clean my room. The lightbulbs will remain a mystery.
In spite of all the seeming hurdles, being on your own can be great. You will learn how to budget, keep house, and be in charge of your own fiefdom.
You call the shots. You decide who can enter your premises and who can't. You can decorate your apartment any way you want.
You can help the economy by generating employment when you hire people. You run your own life, which is the point of being a grownup.
