DEAR JEWEL,

I?m 28 and I?ve never had a boyfriend. I?m starting to think something?s wrong with me, and although I know that?s not true (my self-confidence is up to here), it?s denting my self-esteem. Guys would be really interested at first and pursue me, then after a couple of dates I don?t see them again. I know I?m smart, I?m not bad to look at and I?m sure I don?t have halitosis. So what?s up with that?

PERFECT 10

Dear Perfect,

Perhaps that?s just it?you?re perfect, or guys think so.

Today?s women are independent, educated, well-traveled and well-informed. They know what they want and do what it takes to have it.

They can give men a run for their money in landing corporate jobs and heck, our president is a woman.

This is supposed to be a good thing. In some parts of the globe, women are still treated as second-class citizens.

In short, we can do almost anything we want.

Nowadays, as traditional roles in the family blur (e.g. the father is the provider, the mother takes care of the children and keeps house), the males still want to be leaders of the pack.

It?s not a Pinoy thing; it?s actually cross-cultural and is also evident in the animal kingdom, with the existence of alpha males in a given group.

Men, in general, can?t handle a relationship when their girlfriends are smarter, earn more than they do and lead a more exciting life.

No, love doesn?t conquer all. Men are brought up to take care of the woman, and if they are not able to do that, their universe implodes.

I?m not saying you should dumb yourself down to get yourself a boyfriend. If you do that I myself will burn your bra and take you to those places where they make the women walk ahead to test for landmines.

I?m saying that when you go out on a date, don?t wear all your feathers in one go.

Sure, you?re one hell of a catch. The secret is to make them realize that as you go on more dates?not by telling them of your numerous awards and recognition in one blow.

Being proud of your accomplishments is not a bad thing, but if it?s flaunted indiscriminately, it comes out differently. Let your potential boyfriends discover the wonderful things about you in due time, so they can savor each bit along the way.

Of course, if you put out on the first date, that?s a different story. Let?s just say your dates didn?t have to wait too long for the train to come. Next time, hold off a bit until you know their mother?s middle name, at least.

NO AGE LIMITS,

JEWEL