MANILA, Philippines—I remember my first day of school in college. My block mates may perhaps have fond memories of their high school years, but all I can remember is this girl throwing a ball pen at me, my head specifically, and another girl putting mayo-garlic in my bag.
Some people may watch Gossip Girl and think that how it portrays school girls is absurd and far from reality. It’s not.
Studying in an all-girl’s high school proved challenging since this was an environment where one would surely encounter one or more real-life Gossip Girls.
The start of classes for me usually meant the start of another school year filled with back-stabbing, eye-rolling, smirking and gossiping among some of my classmates. Though I would go to school with a smile on my face and spend the day with people I considered as real friends, in truth I looked forward to going home.
Home was where I could just leave all my worries behind and focus on my studies and my interest in fashion. Though I was always the type who’d bounce back in a jiffy, I did have those times when I felt like I was stuck and I would just cry myself to sleep.
I shied away from compliments because I feared that someone who’d hear one would just make something up to make me look bad. I remember a girl whom I tried to encourage by telling her she should find something she could be good at, like her studies. Instead, she replied, “I want to be good at attracting boys.”
Knowing my password in Friendster, she even erased the messages I got from guys just because they were compliments. This was a wake-up call for me to just surround myself with people who were unpretentious, sensible and responsible.
In college, I thought those days were over. I was wrong. There were no more ball-pen throwing and putting of mayo-garlic in my bag, but the backstabbing and gossiping were still present. The girls in my class didn’t use BlackBerrys like the women of Gossip Girl, but their words travelled as quickly. Before you knew it, their stories were the talk of the town.
I used to wonder why I was often the target of such behavior. Did I do something wrong to deserve such things? But no good answer ever came to mind. It took some time for me to realize why. In fact, it took a whole village—my parents, my brothers and my friends—for things to sink in.
It was hard to believe that these girls resorted to such behavior to get attention, to become more popular, to feel better about themselves, and to punish those who were different from them. But that’s what it was.
Now, I’m proud to say I’ve learned to ignore all manner of gossip and backbiting. I’ve developed a second skin, which comes in handy when I’m faced with any hint of cattiness from someone.
Still, though I’m used to it, it still puzzles me why some girls would rather worry about other people than themselves, and obsess about their fears at the expense of their dreams.
I say, take it from India Arie: Put your salt on the shelf, go on and love yourself.
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