MANILA, Philippines—DEAR JEWEL,

I can’t believe my boyfriend’s mother. She absolutely hates me and everything that I do. I’m 21 years old; of course I dress like this. Of course I go to bars, and yes, I like loud music. No, I don’t know how to cook, and I don’t believe the wife should just stay at home to look after her husband.

I do love my boyfriend, but I don’t want to put him on the spot. Sometimes I’m thinking, we’re still young anyway, I can still get over him and look for a man whose mother isn’t out to get me.

CADY

Dear Cady,

Have you ever tried looking at the whole thing from her point of view? Parents always want the best for their children. Maybe she thinks her son is too young to have a relationship, not necessarily with you, but with anyone else.

Let’s also look at it from another angle: generation gap. Maybe during her time, young ladies don’t dress like that, go to bars, or like loud music. They also know how to cook and wives always stay at home.

I don’t think she’s out to get you, but don’t take her bait. Once you react badly about her nitpickings, she’ll take that against you. Not to mention that it probably won’t sit well with your boyfriend. You won’t put him on the spot because guys will always choose their mothers over their girlfriends.

Maybe try turning down the volume once in a while,

Jewel

DEAR JEWEL,

I have an ongoing cold war with my mother because of my cellphone. She hits the roof whenever she sees the bill, and it’s not even that high. I saw their bill and it’s five times more than mine. My point is, why give me one if she’s going to be like that? My boyfriend transferred to another school in a faraway place, and no long-distance relationship can survive without the cellphone.

VERUCA

Dear Veruca,

I don’t know if you’ve heard of the words “control” and “rules.” Without those two, the world would not exist as we know it. There would be chaos everywhere and people would just do anything they wanted without thinking of the consequences.

I guess it’s safe to assume that your mother pays for your cellphone airtime, right? Then she has every right to scream murder if your bill goes beyond what is reasonable. Reasonable, in your case, do not include extended yakking with your boyfriend on your parents’ expense.

If you want to keep your boyfriend and get your mom off your back, then offer to pay for your own bills. I don’t know how, but if you’re mature enough to be in a relationship then I suppose you can find a way. That’s the way adults live in the real world.

Use snail mail and send postcards instead.

Jewel

E-mail Jewel at jewel-lifestyle@inquirer.com.ph