DEAR JEWEL,

I am the keeper of everybody’s secret. For some reason my friends tell me all their secrets, because they know I don’t spill. Lately someone told me a very dirty one, something so horrible that I’m having a hard time not telling. I’m near exploding—I’m torn between betraying a friend and saving someone else’s reputation.

Blake

Dear Blake,

It is truly a virtue to be trustworthy. Not many people possess that quality now, and you probably belong to an endangered species. While I’m all for not blabbing, if the knowledge you possess right now would save a life, a relationship, or yes, a reputation, then it might be worth a try to do the right thing. If this horrible thing was your friend’s doing, then maybe it’s not really a good idea to stay friends with her.

Whatever you decide, you must be prepared to live with the consequences of that decision. Telling you the secret was a little bit unfair in my opinion, because whether you like it or not you are now involved in the situation. If you told, you’re a blabber; and if you didn’t, you have the burden of seeing someone’s life get screwed up because you stayed quiet. Gather all the facts before you push a button.

Secrets never last a lifetime,

Jewel

Dear Jewel,

I’m not a prude or anything, but I have this friend who is very vocal about her sex life, it’s making me uncomfortable. I wasn’t born yesterday, but I don’t need to hear all the gory details of her adventures. If I make a big deal about it she makes fun of me and calls me “Manang,” which irritates me no end. She’s a good friend and all, now if I can just convince her to drop the sex talk.

iKnow

Dear iKnow,

When athletes are out in the field or court doing their thing, do you think they can still hear or see the people on the stadium cheering them? No. Because they need to focus in order to win, the great athletes have mastered the art of tuning out. They can’t see anything aside from that ball, or goal, or finish line. Everything else is just a blur.

When your friend starts getting into the nitty-gritty of last night, think of other things. Recite the multiplication table in your head, maybe even “Desiderata.” If that doesn’t work, focus on details like the state of your nails, hair, and bank account. If she talks about it that much, maybe you’ll have enough time to write a novel. Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it; you will automatically know when she’s done talking.

Keep your good friends,

Jewel

E-mail Jewel at jewel-lifestyle@inquirer.com.ph