I’m 22 and still in college. I’m fed up with school already I can’t seem to get past my senior year. My parents are breathing down my neck; they can’t wait for me to graduate because I have two younger sisters who are also in college. But that’s not why I wrote. My ex-boyfriend is threatening to send out our sex video if I didn’t give him money. In short, he’s blackmailing me. I don’t have the cash, and I can’t ask my parents for the five grand so I can pay my asswipe of an ex. Help!
HESITANT HOME VIDEO STAR
Dear Video Star,
You make me glad I don’t have children. You seem so unremorseful about what you’ve done, and what you’re doing to your life. I want to go back in time to when you were maybe two years old and tell your mother to watch you like a hawk. Or maybe send you to a nunnery to learn hard work and constant prayer.
I was not born yesterday. I’m perfectly aware that the sexually active population is getting younger and younger through the years, and I’m not even getting started with that. What I don’t get is the need to document things, and then freak out if the footage ends up being sold in Quiapo, or uploaded on Youtube.
However, you wrote to ask for my advice. Don’t give him any money. Chances are, half your school already saw the video. Paying him now would be a pointless effort to save your reputation. Pray hard your face isn’t recognizable in the video, and soon it will die down. Get your senior year over and done with. Find a job that will teach you that money is the product of honest work. And the next time a camera is pointed at you, have the sense to be fully-clothed.
I don’t have five grand either.
Jewel
DEAR JEWEL,
I’m a girl, and I’m bothered because another girl is courting me. I don’t know what I did to imply that I like my own kind for her to pursue me. At first, I told her politely that I’m not interested, but she’s persistent. Then I tried being rude, it still didn’t work. How can I get her off my back?
STRAIGHT STRAIGHT STRAIGHT
Dear SSS,
I can’t think of anything right now, but off the top of my head, have you tried introducing her to other girls who might be interested? Distraction is the key. Tell her you’re sorry that you can’t, uhm, take her up on her offer but would she feel better if you found her a date? I hope at this point you know your suitor a little so you can find someone that would be a sort of match. You don’t want her validating her belief that there’s no one else but you if the date goes up in flames.
Curly can be good.
Jewel
DEAR JEWEL,
I’m getting married soon, and my fiancé has a 5-year-old daughter living with him. For some reason, his daughter hates me. When we try to bring her to our dates so we can bond, I end up being hit by a book or any hard toy. Once she bit me. I talked to my future mother-in-law about it, if she was like that with her dad’s other girlfriends, and she said no. I am her dad’s only girlfriend after she was born. I love my fiancé and I love that kid. I want to make it work but how?
NOT AN EVIL STEPMOTHER
Dear Stepmom,
You just told me what I needed to hear. You love the kid, therefore, be patient. She might be seeing you as an intrusion to the life she and her father has. Don’t force things, and don’t expect her to accept you overnight. I’m not a child psychologist, but I have nieces and nephews who taught me that hostility is sometimes a self-defense mechanism.
When you’re together, don’t smother her with attention. Let her come to you, as she eventually will after she sees that you’re not a threat. If you bring her to your dates, let your fiancé attend to her needs because that’s what she’s used to. She needs to know if she can trust you, and trust is earned. Relax, she’s only five, and you have the rest of your lives to try and get along.
