MANILA, Philippines—I’ve been trying to remember the last time I was truly alone.
Sure, I was alone in my hotel room in Singapore two weeks ago, away from family and friends, but my laptop was constantly plugged in and messages kept popping up on my Yahoo Messenger.
My phone, even if it stopped sending text messages twice, never lost its signal and kept me linked to home.
On my very short trip, I managed to meet up with a friend from Manila and make new ones.
I also have good reasons to suspect that the room service guy accidentally walked in on me naked—but that’s another story. So much for being alone in Singapore.
Opportunity for solitude
Two years ago, I thought I had the perfect opportunity for solitude when I went to New Zealand on an assignment. The only Filipino in that junket, I was traveling alone—three plane rides all in all.
Before my last plane even touched New Zealand soil, I had managed to spend time with three people—a pretty blonde overloaded with bridal magazines; a businessman freaked out by the pink stuffed animal I brought; and a Filipino guy who wouldn’t stop talking.
I had planned to spend those days in New Zealand working during the day and ordering room service, watching bad TV and blogging at night.
But I had to chuck those plans.
First, there was the hotel guy at the front desk who gave me free dessert.
Then, journalists from Singapore and Brazil forced me to have dinner and drinks with them at the hotel lobby.
And I spent another night having dinner with even more journalists and walking by the fountain Elijah Wood reportedly peed in, while drunk, when he was in New Zealand shooting “Lord of the Rings.”
So much for being alone in New Zealand.
I wasn’t alone on the way back either. It turns out Julian, the journalist from Hong Kong, and I were on the same flight.
So maybe the last time I was really alone was in my mother’s womb.
Overly friendly freak
If you think I am an overly friendly freak who makes a career out of befriending strangers, you couldn’t be more wrong. I can be pretty anti-social and have been accused of being stand-offish countless times—which is actually shyness misinterpreted.
If I can meet people and make new friends without even trying, so can you and everyone else in this world.
Hearing people my age complain about loneliness is ludicrous—we are never alone. We are living in an age where we are forced to interact with people every day and have been equipped with all the gadgets needed to do so.
Computers, the Internet, mobile phones—these are not just tools for information and creative expression, they are ways to make human connection.
Nights out are a few text messages away, parties can be set up by posting a single Multiply entry, life-changing conversations can be had on YM.
The next time you feel lonely, quit the pity party, leave the bottle of pills alone and make an actual move. Reach out. Write a blog entry, upload photos, send a text message, start talking to people on YM.
Don’t fool yourself into believing no one understands you. In a world where there are websites devoted to people blowing gummi bears up in their microwaves, there is always someone to connect with, no matter how strange you think you are.
You can run but you can’t hide
Even trying to be alone on purpose is hard. Cutting yourself off from the rest of the world is almost impossible. Unplugging your computer and switching your phone off will only go so far. You know your e-mails and messages are piling up. You know you’ll be connected again.
Deciding to make a drastic attempt at leaving everyone behind will still involve the help of others—people to book your tickets and people who will fly or steer you to your remote destination. You can run, but you can’t hide.
Why would you want to?
There is no excuse for loneliness anymore. People are a push of a button away. It’s just a matter of knowing which ones to push.
Being lonely in today’s world is the equivalent of being hungry before a free buffet. If you don’t grab a plate, you have only yourself to blame.
E-mail the author at ppastor@inquirer.com.ph.
Beat loneliness in 10 ways
If the bug bites, here’s how you can kill it:
1. Pick up the phone and call a friend.
2. Look up old friends on Facebook, Friendster, MySpace and Multiply and reconnect.
3. Answer your neglected e-mails.
4. Send text messages to friends.
5. Visit your grandparents.
6. Offer to babysit your younger siblings or your friend/cousin/sister’s kids.
